It’s not a flex. It’s a confession.
About that kind of love that feels like drugs, toxic as hell, but sweeter than sanity.
We say we’re done, but we stay. We ghost each other, then crawl back like nothing happened.
We hurt. Then we heal. Then we hurt again.
I wrote this track in the middle of that loop.
The hook? Repeats like the cycle. The verses? That’s me talking reckless, honest, broken, and turned on all at once.
If you ever been stuck in a relationship that’s more addiction than affection.
This R&B/Hip-hop song’s for you.
Or maybe, from you.
Lyrics
Told you girls I’m toxic, yeah I heard that
Still you in my crib with your shirt back
But baby I’m the worst
Baby I’m the worst
Told you girls I’m toxic, yeah I heard that
Still you in my crib with your shirt back
But baby I’m the worst
Baby I’m the worst
You like poison in my bed
I like danger when you’re wet
You be cryin’ when I ghost
But you moanin’ when I’m close
But you moanin’ when I’m
Like poison in my bed
I like danger when you’re wet
You be cryin’ when I ghost
But you moanin’ when I’m close
But you moanin’ when I’m
Ain’t growin’, we just possess
You my drug, I need my fix
Say you done, but here you stay
Say you done, but here you stay
But it’s just a phase
Say you done, but here you stay
But it’s just a phase
Say you done, but here you stay
You said you love me, babe
Then you fuck me, we’re fine
Talkin’ ’bout trust, but you be creepin’ when I’m nothin’
I know you hate it when I leave you on read
But you love it when I choke you, got my hands
But baby I’m the worst
Baby I’m the worst
Face down, bae, no talkin’, let your body preach
You the devil in a dress and I’m the fuckin’ priest
We both lie, but your body tell the truth
You hate me with your mouth, but you love me in the booth
You say I ain’t shit, but you tattooed my name
Ain’t no heaven for a bitch that love pain
You addicted to the game
Cause I’m the flame
But girl, don’t play we all take the blame
Like you still in my brain
But girl, don’t play we all take the blame
Like you still in my brain
Annotation
“Told you girls I’m toxic / Still you in my crib with your shirt back”
I knew girls, I was no good. Toxic, manipulative, all that. And yeah, I heard it. But words don’t mean anything when 2AM hits and you still showin’ up at my door, shirt halfway off like your mouth said one thing but your body didn’t listen. This line came from that tension. The way we speak against what we crave. She warned herself, warned her friends, but still ended up exactly where she swore she wouldn’t.
“Baby I’m the worst / Baby I’m the worst”
This isn’t self-pity, it’s ownership. I’m not trying to act like I’m a good guy in disguise. I know I’m the villain in her story. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not running from it either. Sometimes you get so deep in the mess, you stop pretending you’re clean. That’s where this came from.
“You like poison in my bed / I like danger when you’re wet”
This line is lust and destruction tangled together. She’s bad for me. Like really bad. But I want it. I crave it. There’s something about the thrill, the wrongness of it, that makes it harder to let go. I’m not just talking about sex here. It’s the energy, the intensity. The kind of fire you know burns but you touch it anyway.
“You be cryin’ when I ghost / But you moanin’ when I’m close”
We got this back-and-forth that’s borderline sick. When I disappear, she breaks. When I come back, she melts. That emotional whiplash is our rhythm. It’s not healthy. But it’s real. That line came straight from our cycle. Silence hurts, but presence cuts deeper in a different way.
“Ain’t growin’, we just possess / You my drug, I need my fix”
This line hit me hard when I wrote it. We’re not evolving. We’re not building. We’re just holding onto each other out of fear of emptiness. It’s not love. It’s addiction. She isn’t my peace, she’s my escape. And I’m hers. That’s not healing. That’s co-dependent decay.
“Say you done, but here you stay / Say you done, but here you stay”
This is that part where she swears she’s walking away. Texts me like she’s fed up, tells her girls she’s blocking me, all that. But by the end of the night, she’s still here. Same eyes, same scent, same cycle. It’s like the word “done” lost its meaning for us. We say it, but we never leave. Comfort in chaos.
“But it’s just a phase / Say you done, but here you stay”
We lie to ourselves and call it temporary. Like this mess is just a phase we’ll grow out of. But deep down, we both know we’re stuck in a loop. This line is me calling out that delusion. If this is a phase, it’s the longest one either of us been in.
“You said you love me, babe / Then you fuck me, we’re fine”
This is that twisted reconciliation. She says “I love you” with her mouth and proves it with her body. No talking, no healing, just touch. We don’t solve problems, we bury them under lust. That fake peace after sex, like we good again, until we crash tomorrow.
“Talkin’ ’bout trust, but you be creepin’ when I’m nothin’”
She throws “trust” in my face, like I’m the only one breaking it. But when I’m down, when I’m distant, when I’m not shining, she out there too. Creepin’. Attention hunting. Loyalty ain’t loyalty if it disappears when I’m not useful.
“I know you hate it when I leave you on read / But you love it when I choke you, got my hands”
That contradiction. She wants soft love in texts but craves the rough version in bed. It’s like the digital me has to be a gentleman, but the real-life me? She wants control, pain, dominance. That line exposes how wild the contrast is between what she says and what she responds to.
“But baby I’m the worst / Baby I’m the worst”
This line comes back like a mantra. I say it again, not because I want sympathy, but because it’s the only truth that fits. I’ve accepted that I’m not what she needs. Maybe I never was. But somehow, knowing that doesn’t stop either of us from staying. That’s the toxic part.
“Face down, bae, no talkin’, let your body preach”
Sometimes words just get in the way. The lies, the blame, the back-and-forth. So we stop talkin’. Her body says more than her mouth ever could. It’s like we only speak the truth through touch.
“You the devil in a dress and I’m the fuckin’ priest”
This ain’t love, this is ritual. She plays the role of temptation and I play the one who’s supposed to resist, but I never do. Instead of saving her, I fall with her. Every time.
“We both lie, but your body tell the truth”
She says she hates me, wants to leave, never coming back. But the way she moves, the way she pulls me close, that’s the real story. Our mouths lie, but our bodies always snitch.
“You hate me with your mouth, but you love me in the booth”
She might curse me out in real life, but the moment I turn on the mic and pour this into a song, she listens. She reposts. She plays it on loop. Music is the only place where we’re still good.
“You say I ain’t shit, but you tattooed my name”
That ink says more than any argument. You don’t tattoo someone you wanna forget. That’s forever energy, even if we act like we’re temporary.
“Ain’t no heaven for a bitch that love pain”
This line was cold but real. She says she wants peace, but keeps chasing storms. If you addicted to pain, peace gon’ feel boring. So I gave her exactly what she asked for, even if she didn’t say it out loud.
“You addicted to the game / Cause I’m the flame”
She ain’t addicted to me, she addicted to what comes with me. The highs, the drama, the danger. And me? I’m the source. The flame that lights it all. She gets burned, but she keeps reachin’.
“But girl, don’t play we all take the blame / Like you still in my brain”
We both did damage. This ain’t just on me. She act like the victim, but we both architects of this hell. And no matter how far she runs, she still lives in my head. Rent free.
Credits
Written by Tovan Alldino
Produced, Mixed, Mastered by Tovan
Marketed by Dimulti Music